Total Divas Recap: Alicia/Wade Drama, Paige Argues With Nikki, John Cena, More

Last week: An army of cats took over Natalya's house and Paige and Alicia argued Kevin the Rock Star. This week: The girls head to Europe and wear ridiculous hats.

Nattie is complaining about her new cat 2Pawz. "Hes a humper!" Poor little thing. Especially with a name like that.

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Summer Rae randomly shows up, plugs her movie, throws an insult at Nattie and then departs. This is why Summer Rae is cool.

Eva Marie is training again with Brian Kendrick and actually seems to be making progress. Later on she does a cool horror movie-style photoshoot. Later, Eva gets upset when fans online accuse Mr. Eva of beating her because she has bruises on her arm from the training. The nerve! As if Mr. Eva would ever do that. He is the best husband in the world. Later on, a woman in the bathroom notices Eva's bruises and also thinks she's being abused. She gives the couple a few odd looks. Poor Mr Eva. He later tells Eva it doesn't bother him what people think.

Natalya and Paige are hanging out and Natalya reveals that Nikki used to work at Hooters. Paige is shocked and begins to think Nikki might be "a fake" because she always acts so high class and sophisticated.

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Later, the Bellas and their silly hats try to take Paige to tea but, hey, it's England and that's all there is in England: Tea. Paige wisely ditches them to go to a dive bar. I do not rate Nikki's attempts to mesh with the English culture highly at all. She'll be making jokes about bad teeth next.

Paige accusing Nikki of being phony. Nikki just wants to get to know her culture, solely by watching TV and just assuming all the cliched sterotypes were true, presumably.

Later, Nikki and Brie go out for dinner with John Cena. John makes some very un-PG jokes about the dress Nikki is wearing. Paige later apologizes to Brie for bailing and admits that some women just have very different tastes. Later she says sorry to Nikki too.

Lana shows up in a scene dancing with Trinity. We hear her normal voice for a second. Thank God Bill Watts isn't around or he'd fire her for breaking kayfabe.

Meanwhile Alicia is still lusting after Wade Barrett. He's got a new girlfriend and Nattie tells her she needs to let it go, but she just can't get over him. Man, he must be really good in bed. This is a bit like Ross and Rachel only not nearly as interesting. Later Alicia goes to confront Wade and close the book on their relationship once and for all?only knocks his hotel room door then freaks out and runs away before he can answer it. Oh, well.

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Later Rosa has a go at Alicia for being a homewrecker and going after Wade when she knows full well he's with another girl. Alicia meets Wade's new lady and she gets through the encounter without trying to scratch her eyes out so I'd call it a success.

Next week: Hopefully an update on 2Pawz's progress.

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